My beliefs do not allow me to wish misfortune upon you. So, for hurting my friend, for rocking her life to the core of her being, for all the months of self doubt you caused her, for making her feel like shit about herself, for the two year web of subterfuge, lies and bullshit you wove, for your arrogance and for being a complete screw-up of epic proportions, I simply wish you Karma.
The same Karma which caused the telephone bill for your secret mobile telephone to become soaked through by heavy rain, and for the hundreds of text message entries to various women over the past months to reveal themselves to the lady who loved you as you will never be loved again. Shame that.
Ain't Lady Karma a bitch eh?! And I'm sure you'll find that she's a bitch with a very looooong memory.
Don't worry about your ex-partner. She has a myriad of soft places to fall. She's staying in the light, she's still beautiful and she is stronger than anyone I know.
I wish you and your laptop and your mobile phone and your big state of the art flat screen tv many happy years together. After all, what more does a man like you need?