Sunday, 10 January 2016

Named and Shamed

I love my kids to bits but jeez they're messy buggers (kindle just changed that to messy nuggets.  Sigh. )

This evening I had to serve dinner to six people.  There were the sum total of two plates in the cupboard.  Two!!

A reconnaissance mission beyond the enemy lines of their bedroom doors, armed with a chair held aloft in a lion tamer styley and wearing a welders mask, gauntlets and a boiler suit, revealed two tea plates, a bowl and a dinner plate in DD's room and the grand total of seven dinner plates in KTT's room.   Neither of them were in and so in view of the fact that I actually needed to use the crockery I had liberated from their rooms, I also had to use a flame thrower to chip away at the congealed ketchup and other highly suspect materials in order to make them sanitary enough to eat from.  I was bloody fuming. Ordinarily I'd have dumped the whole lot in the middle of their beds and pulled the covers over them for them to discover later but that wasn't an option.

So I named and shamed them on Facebook along with a picture of the crime scene.

As anticipated, DD went ballistic and and sent me a text (imagine a screamer missive in Harry Potter) asking me if I "really needed to put that on Facebook and make her look stupid?"  Well yes, actually, I did!   KTT just promptly detagged himself and left a one word observation: "gas"

Tee hee.

I think I've found an Achilles heel.

Next on the agenda will be updates on how they manage to stand up from the loo to retrieve a new toilet roll yet can't quite manage to replace the empty one, which requires a hugely krypton factor-ish conundrum to be solved involving fearlessly sliding off the empty tube and replacing it with a full one.  Nope. It's easier just to leave the new roll on the side of the bath. Who knew?

Or will it be the story of the dumping of teetering laundry baskets in the kitchen, never quite making the extra half inch into the machine.   DD might occasionally put a load of washing on, but may not return to the machine for a month or so by which time the laundry fairies have visited.

In an amazing feat of not-switched-on-at-all-ness yesterday, KTT took out the bathroom bin, emptied it into the wheelie, came back into the house, set the bin on the stairs then walked past it to go back up to his room.

I love em. I love the bones of em.  But they drive me sodding batty!




7 comments:

  1. It is a frustrating business at times! Arilx

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  2. Someday they will be parents and you will smile. What goes around , comes around.

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  3. A friend of mine who was sick of the vanishing plate syndrome wrote the kids names on one each mug, side plate, dinner plate and dish, if they weren't in the kitchen when meals were read to dish up they went without! She also used to tell them to hang up coats and move bags etc that had been dumped on entering the house, they then had 5 mins to shift them - if they were still there the front door was opened and she flung them onto the green in front of their house :o)
    Brilliant!
    Rose H
    xx

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  4. Have you 'taken' my teenagers? For they sound very similar.... especially to loo roll conundrum... Can reach for one in an emergency, can't reach to replace when finished, hmmm. My lot stash mugs, tea/coffee/hot choc - nothing is spared - behind curtains, on the floor next to the settee, in bedrooms, in book cases, grrrrrrrr!

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  5. Something is sounding just a tad too familiar...but remember...it's not them...it's us?! Lovely little imps aren't they...and the thing is...we still love um and we still do stuff for them that they would be quite capable of doing for themselves...mine aren't even teenagers any more, and two have left home, but as soon as they come home through the door it's like Mum'll look after me now. Ah well.x

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  6. I am LAUGHING!! You describe the life of a teenager mama perfectly. My teenagers had some sort of odd magnetism where their filthy clothes and wet towels would not ever be able to be dropped off in the laundry bin that is RIGHT OUTSIDE the bathroom. No, the clothes and towel would demagnetise when they'd walked PASSED said laundry bin and reached their bedrooms.
    It is still a mystery too, why they didn't just leave it all in the bathroom??

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