I love my kids to bits but jeez they're messy buggers (kindle just changed that to messy nuggets. Sigh. )
This evening I had to serve dinner to six people. There were the sum total of two plates in the cupboard. Two!!
A reconnaissance mission beyond the enemy lines of their bedroom doors, armed with a chair held aloft in a lion tamer styley and wearing a welders mask, gauntlets and a boiler suit, revealed two tea plates, a bowl and a dinner plate in DD's room and the grand total of seven dinner plates in KTT's room. Neither of them were in and so in view of the fact that I actually needed to use the crockery I had liberated from their rooms, I also had to use a flame thrower to chip away at the congealed ketchup and other highly suspect materials in order to make them sanitary enough to eat from. I was bloody fuming. Ordinarily I'd have dumped the whole lot in the middle of their beds and pulled the covers over them for them to discover later but that wasn't an option.
So I named and shamed them on Facebook along with a picture of the crime scene.
As anticipated, DD went ballistic and and sent me a text (imagine a screamer missive in Harry Potter) asking me if I "really needed to put that on Facebook and make her look stupid?" Well yes, actually, I did! KTT just promptly detagged himself and left a one word observation: "gas"
I think I've found an Achilles heel.
Next on the agenda will be updates on how they manage to stand up from the loo to retrieve a new toilet roll yet can't quite manage to replace the empty one, which requires a hugely krypton factor-ish conundrum to be solved involving fearlessly sliding off the empty tube and replacing it with a full one. Nope. It's easier just to leave the new roll on the side of the bath. Who knew?
Or will it be the story of the dumping of teetering laundry baskets in the kitchen, never quite making the extra half inch into the machine. DD might occasionally put a load of washing on, but may not return to the machine for a month or so by which time the laundry fairies have visited.
In an amazing feat of not-switched-on-at-all-ness yesterday, KTT took out the bathroom bin, emptied it into the wheelie, came back into the house, set the bin on the stairs then walked past it to go back up to his room.
I love em. I love the bones of em. But they drive me sodding batty!